my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Randomize
