So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
At least life still wants to fuck me.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Randomize
