every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
