He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
