Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
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