I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
