I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
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