Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
