shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
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