Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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