now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Randomize
