your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
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