All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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