At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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