when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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