Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
