Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
