If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize