mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
