girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Randomize
