Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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