You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
that may or may not have been my penis.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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