Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize