i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
