im drinking this country out of the recession.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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