You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Randomize
