Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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