Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
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Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
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My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
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