I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
