I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
