scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
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You tried to poop in the sink last night.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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