Nicole vs. Life
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
tonight lets celebrate not being married
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
