i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
