the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Randomize
