no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Randomize
