all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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