I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
