i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
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