I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things ππ
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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