Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
Randomize
