I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
