..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Two words: blizzard sex
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Randomize
