he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
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