we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
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