Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
