she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
You were trust falling into bushes
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Randomize
