So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Randomize
