i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
