can we get nightvision for the apartment?
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
i would one night stand the shit outta him
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
