Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I am naked and annoyed.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Randomize
