Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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