i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
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