I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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