Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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