If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
