I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
