I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize